H&R Blog: Funny Facebook Status

Daddy needs to recharge his DPS (Daddy's Patience & Sanity) device before the voice instructs him to "turn off of cliff & arrive at destination: wit's end."

Nicknames

M1 is our oldest blessing. Her main nickname is "DQ" which stands for Drama Queen. She can also be called "Harley" due to the sounds that escape her tuckus at randomly inconvenient moments.

M2 is our second blessing. Her first nickname was "BP" which stands for 'boy preview' (she was much more rough-n-tumble than M1). M2's nickname now is "Tonka" b/c she's 'Tonka tough'...she takes a lot of pride in this fact.

Marco the dog is often called "Marco Barko" for obvious reasons. Yes, we use to have a "Polo" but he was not a good fit with our family so we gave him to a cousin. Now Polo is not a good fit with another family.

Now That's Funny! (From Our Computer To Yours)

Friendship Bread is an Amish pyramid scheme. It's a little known fallacy that originally it was called Fellowship Bread, but the starter kits came in sackcloth; success was minimal.
A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than he loves himself. -Josh Billings
My dog is worried about the economy because Alpo is up to $3.00 a can. That's almost $21.00 in dog money. -Joe Weinstein
If you think dogs can't count, try putting three dog biscuits in your pocket and then give him only two of them. -Phil Pastoret
"Political correctness is a doctrine, fostered by a delusional, illogical minority, and rabidly promoted by an unscrupulous mainstream media, which holds forth the proposition that It is entirely possible to pick up a turd by the clean end." -- The winning entry in an annual contest at Texas A&M University calling for the most appropriate definition of a contemporary term: This year's term was Political Correctness.
During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director how do you determine whether or not a patient should be institutionalized. 'Well,' said the Director, 'we fill up a bathtub - then we offer a teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to empty the bathtub.' 'Oh, I understand,' said the visitor. 'A normal person would use the bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup.' 'No' said the Director, 'A normal person would pull the plug. Do you want a bed near the window?'

Quote Tote (A Mixed Bag)

We fall into temptation when we don’t stand against it.
Pride is when someone overvalues himself by undervaluing others.
First make sure you are with Him, then you can be sure He’ll be with you.
He who abandons himself to God will never be abandoned by God.
“God’s work done in God’s way will never lack God’s supply.” -- Hudson Taylor (Missionary in China)
Trials make us think; thinking makes us wise; wisdom makes life profitable.
"What we try to do is pass it on, to make the gifts and kindnesses that come to us the kind of human currency that goes on traveling. I will try to preserve it, transmit it, I hope refreshed, to another generation of the American republic, which is the inheritance of us all." --David H. Souter after being appointed to the U.S. Supreme Court
God’s love cannot be explained—it can only be experienced.
The trials of earth are small compared with the triumphs of heaven.
Without Christ we can do nothing. With Him we can do everything He wants us to do.
We know almost nothing compared to the infinite amount there is to know.
The richest person is not the one who has the most but the one who needs the least.
The happiest people don't have the best of everything; they just make the best of everything they have.
"Life is the hot chocolate...your job, money, position in society are the cups; they are just tools to hold and contain life."
Invest your life in what pays eternal dividends.
God gives every bird its food, but He does not throw it into its nest.
To handle yourself, use your head. To handle others, use your heart.
Love people and use things; don't use people and love things.
Integrity means never having to look over your shoulder.
When you find time on your hands, put them together in prayer.
The treasures of truth in God’s Word are best mined with the spade of meditation.
Spend your time counting your blessings, not airing your complaints.
An offense against your neighbor is a fence between you and God.
Doing what’s right today means no regrets tomorrow.
Tomorrow’s world will be shaped by what we teach our children today.
A good test of a person’s character is his behavior when he is wrong.
When Christ is the center of your interests, life will be in focus.
"The successful person is the average person, focused." -Unknown
How foolish to worship the creation, when the Creator is so much greater.
"Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good" (Rom. 12:21)
Contentment is not getting what we want but being satisfied with what we have.
The measure of a man's character is what he would do if he knew he never would be found out. —Macauley
Unexpected changes are opportunities in disguise.
Satan doesn't care so much if you're a Christian as long as you don't act like one.
We always have enough when God is our supply.
The purpose of prayer is not to get what we want, but to become what God wants.
To guide your children on the right way, you must go that way yourself.
May our lives be a “show and tell” for God’s glory.
Adversity doesn't build character, it reveals it.
Count your many blessings and you’ll soon lose count.
It seems that most of our struggles revolve around wanting something we don’t have or having something we don’t want.
The motive of giving reveals the character of the giver more than the gift itself.
You can attract people to Jesus when you have His light in your life.
Someone has said, “What the caterpillar thinks is the end of life, the butterfly thinks is just the beginning.”
Joy comes from the Lord who lives in us, not from what’s happening around us.
Aspire to inspire before you expire.
God’s work in us isn’t over when we receive Christ—it has just begun.
One good reason for doing the right thing today is tomorrow.
The choices we make today produce the consequences we reap tomorrow. It’s far better to avoid sin in the first place than to struggle to overcome its consequences. —Bill Crowder
Our works and words should say the same thing.
I’d rather see a Christian Than to hear one merely talk, I’d rather see his actions And behold his daily walk. —Herrell
“Faith moves from belief into conviction, then to certainty.”
Where God guides, He provides.
You can teach more with your life than with your lips.
Gratitude should not be an occasional incident but a continuous attitude.
Praise is the song of a soul set free.
Treasures in heaven are laid up as treasures on earth are laid down.
Through prayer, we can step into the calming presence of the Lord and find strength to go on. As we bring our heartaches and needs to God, He meets us where we are and gives us His peace. He is an ever-present help who cares for us in every situation.
Our heavenly home is our real estate.
“It is true that for several days after you die, your hair and fingernails keep on growing, but the phone calls taper off.” -- Johnny Carson
It is better to suffer for the cause of Christ than for the cause of Christ to suffer.
When you look at someone else’s life, Thinking that it’s better than your own, Just remember what God’s given you Was designed for you alone. — Hess
"God may send a load, but He never sends an overload!" -- Ron Hutchcraft
Lord Chesterfield wisely said, "Aim at perfection in everything, though in most things it is unattainable; however, they who aim at it, and persevere, will come much nearer to it than those whose laziness and despondency make them give it up as unattainable."
"There are no secrets to success-don't waste time looking for them. Success is the result of perfection, hard work, learning from failure, loyalty to those for whom you work, and persistence." --- Colin Powell
“Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.” — Goethe
"The best way to predict the future is to create it." ---John Jones
"We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” —Aristotle
"We must not, in trying to think about how we can make a big difference, ignore the small daily differences we can make which, over time, add up to big differences that we often cannot foresee." - Marian Wright Edelman

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Friday, May 29, 2009

Funny Facebook Status

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Nicknames

Now That's Funny! (From Our Computer To Yours)

That's A Gas!

Big Family Comebacks

Quote Tote (A Mixed Bag)